I must begin with an apology, for as we all know there are most likely no true secrets to love, attracting love, falling in love, staying in love or being in love for that matter.
There are certainly steps you can or should take, suggestions you should follow, heed advice from family and friends, regularly practice manifestations and meditations to recover from love, but if there were one primary ingredient that would allow for deep, passionate and unbridled love, you must at first be willing to allow it into our lives.
Any comparison to all other human emotion cannot be made, for love is in itself something that when felt deeply and completely, renders the individuals (victims) so very vulnerable, and they will invariably think irrationally and impulsively. Which is why we are all smitten and compelled by it’s power and how it can seemingly take full control of our hearts, our minds and our bodies. The loss of control whether we admit to it or not beckons and entices our souls.
“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.” – Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
There are those of us who try to stay in control and attempt to muscle past love’s powers, but that would not allow for true love, for true love is uncontrollable in its essence, you cannot feel its deepest bliss if indeed we try to control it. For it cannot be shared with many, it is designed for two pure souls hoping to be caught up in the rapture and the state of being transported by a lofty, yet endearing emotion.
If we were only able to look upon love through a child’s eyes, with their naive and trusting hearts, we should certainly be better and happier beings. For to give into the allure may be a complex series of emotions, inclinations and events, allowing ourselves to let love take control confounds and scares the bejesus out of most “grownups.” To accept, flow with and swim effortlessly along the powerful currents and urges of love we leave our soft underbelly’s exposed to Cupid’s arrow. We for only a very brief moment ask ourselves if we are willing to risk being hurt or be taken advantage, then we jump in head first.
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” ~ Dr. Seuss
To take a survey that includes all human existence in regards to their experiences with love or being in love or having been in love we might be at first suspicious of the initial answers. Rest assured that in reality, perhaps only for a moment or two, the subject would soften their look, fight back a smile, feel warm inside and freely admit that love of another was indeed the most magnificent experience of their lives. The survey answer that has no yes or no answers, would most assuredly be “yes”.
I have spoken at length with many different people who have expressed a love of cars, of the sea, of diamonds and gold, of books, of chocolate, of anything purple, of dogs and cats, of travel, of food, of wine and even all about shoes. However, these fabulous connections to “things” compare in no way to having experienced the warmth, glow, frustration and potential ecstasy involved with opening yourself up and let another mess around with your inner being.
Ecstasy = “A state of emotion so intense that one is carried beyond rational thought and self-control.”
So then, are not ecstasy and love one in the same? We all know why not, for to include rational thought of the human experience into something based in the irrational, we will at times allow into the equation the real possibilities. To fall in love with someone who is simply wrong! One who is not our perfect match, someone who is broken, married, addicted to a substance or action, in prison for a crime, someone with several partners already, someone who your parents and friends hate, an unacceptable mate by all external measure, yet we are carried along the path of this connection by passion.
Mix into this mess unreasonable, jaded thoughts and feelings of “they are better than nothing” with a typical excuse being “I simply do not want or cannot be alone.”
The rapture continues and I must return to the endless benefits of love and a personal favorite in the process. Preparing for the stumble and fall into love quite obviously must include “amorousness’ and the role of the kiss. A kiss can be wondrous, it can be mediocre and it can even be filled with great potential and if a mustache is involved, quite ticklish.
More importantly and most significantly, it can lead to more and more kisses, more feelings of wanting to let go and yes, kissing can definitely lead to sex or love-making. The willingness to allow someone else to share of yourself so completely compels and it can happen daily for some and only once in a lifetime for others.
Love is typically associated with the color Red which signifies passion, heat, fire, the rushing of blood, the swelling of specific tissues, the rise in your body temperature, the rosiness in your cheeks as it diverts the blood from your now worthless logical brain and drains it into your all important emotional heart as you become utterly and completely inflamed!
As a romantic gentleman, I deeply appreciate and respect so many things about the heart-felt, all-powerful, gut wrenching physical and emotional torment associated with love. For I have known it, I have experienced it and I so desperately look forward to feeling it again. These words of wisdom give me solace, they help me think clearly, keep my emotions in check and for ever and ever fuel my anticipation –
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~ Lao Tzu
A recent observation about the processes and potential for love entail a similar complex stage of human existence – friendship. Being friends, really good friends or even great friends should be a prerequisite to love, passion and eventual, frequent love-making. However, the process of true friendship may not lead down the same path that falling in love had originally intended and falling in love with a an amazing friend may indeed be even more rare and filled with complexity. From experience, most people will share with friends certain facts that we don’t always or often share with the love of our life.
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Regardless if “friendship first” simplifies or further complicates matters is yet to be determined, and from what I have seen and heard, a true friendship tends to be muddled by feelings that take us to the next level. What I do believe is necessary, a oftentimes missing ingredient that will surely bring love falling around us is “trust.” For without honest communication and complete trust in the one in your arms, you have something less, something far less than love.
But, whatever you feel about the topic, the sensations, the bliss, the pain or the heart ache that can come with it, LOVE is definitely a topic for further discussion, late night research <insert evil laugh> and if we are so very blessed, maybe even a kiss or three.