Why we pursue

Having come alive again as a man in so many ways, I have determined as of late that there are a myriad of insights into why we do certain things. More specifically, I am compelled by one very important feature of human nature, the pursuit of love and companionship.

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein

I have since a young man read about the enticements, complexities and passions of women and have found no more worthy challenge ever than to learn anything and everything I can about women. My level of appreciation of women is far greater today than ever and I thank you, all of you for the opportunity to learn and grow into becoming a better man. I am particularly interested in why we are attracted to one another and the inspiration of the pursuit of a particular individual, and what’s even more fabulous, the seduction.

I am a bachelor and a man who now finds himself at a turning point in the single man’s view of all that is beautiful and feminine. To mention that I am heterosexual and that I absolutely love women would be an understatement. I must clarify or even insist that I have and always will be of the mindset that intelligent men can be friends with intelligent women. I emphasize intelligence here, for I truly believe that in the mind is where all passion develops and regardless of how fantastic the romance is physically, the capacity of our minds to passionately enjoy each other is far more interesting than simply doin’ it.

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.” ~ William Shakespeare

The complexities of relationships – the why we do, the why we shouldn’t do, the I wish I did do or the I wish I wouldn’t have done tales of endless different experiences in and of relationships no matter how long they might last are quite fabulous to hear. For me personally what is far more important is the process of true connection, even if things just don’t work out for one silly reason or another. That the individual we had a made a special connection with left a lasting impression, a loving memory, or more specifically, a reason of significantly knowing why that special someone had an indelible influence on our lives.

It goes beyond the physical attraction and desire for sex, for in my view as a gentleman, the meaning to life when it comes to relationships with women, has always been and always will be a deeper desire to win a woman’s favor as in there is indeed a  hand to be won. Conquest for reasons of sex never meant all that much for me and this old fashioned view is driven primarily by my upbringing and the values passed on by my family. That I was taught such things as privacy, respect and in giving high or special regard for people in general, especially women is something I cherish.

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.” ~ Elie Wiesel

The significance of enjoying a pure connection of friendship and communication possibly leading to a deeply passionate sharing, potentially in love, is a far more satisfying and worthwhile achievement in any relationship. How few of these deep friendships occur on a regular basis, or how many have given up on the potential for having this kind of connection, is a sad topic which I hope to address in future posts about love.

Most recently, I have been so very fortunate to have connected with one such “special friend” and though she is much more of a handful than I had originally imagined, the desire for a deep friendship and honest, open communication with this woman is much stronger than any I have felt in many years, possibly ever before. Our connection is unique and unequalled for I feel it often and it provokes my desire to understand and to better connect. One thing I am sure of in the process of friendship and love, we need to connect with ourselves completely before we can or should pursue any relationship that is worthy of our hearts and beneficial to our souls.

“You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.” – Albert Camus

Any and all the efforts we as humans might undertake to be more attractive and more charming to the opposite sex, you can rest assured that anything and everything we do to look better, feel better, dress better, be more self assured, a better listener, a better collaborator and most importantly, more fun is all worth it and I do mean well worth it.

If I were to begin with my recommendations, my advice or recite from journals of thought and experiences in meeting and connecting socially with women we would be here all damn day long. My intention has been to share are a few “ah ha” moments that I will not claim accolades of success in my tenure with women. These are simply notes about what I know that women like, distinguishing qualities I wish to continue in my quest to improve in myself as well.

“Seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already” ~ Unknown

Having everything to do with attracting that one special woman into my life, I am reminded of one of the most important and compelling early processes to connecting with and hopefully creating an interest for more in you both. Seduction is one of the most fascinating and misunderstood topics in the world for it is not described as something you simply get or all of a sudden magically understand, it is more pure, creative, unique and much more fabulous than that.  It can only be portrayed accurately as “the art of seduction.”

I understand that confidence and charm are things that all women like and from recent readings and conversations in regards to enticing women, I now know that I have much more to learn. When I think about it and believe me I do often, what is more worthwhile, what could be more fun, what could be more compelling than to understand women better and to ultimately make them very happy? Wouldn’t your deep desire to please women come back to you in kind, quite possibly in an appreciation of your efforts that would be quite unforgettable?

One of my favorite experiences in all things “relationship” is to understand the power of something that attracts or charms, the ability to introduce in just the very few first moments is that of engagement and temptation!  More on this later…

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” – Mae West


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