as a gentleman

I am blessed in so many ways and I can thank the love and understanding of my family, many childhood lessons and compassionate examples. The how to best treat people in general is responsible for how I appreciate friendships, enjoy life and simply put, it has a great deal to do with how I live my life today.

“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.” ~ Mark Twain

One such childhood memory entailed how I was so very delighted and proud to be able to reach up and open the car door for my mother and grandmother. To put their immediate needs of comfort and safety at the top of my list. To do for others in the same way simply because I wanted to, resonates and empowers more pride and respect within me today.

I have made a conscious decision to instill that desire even more, with more passion and certainty in my approach to offer my help to those who might need it, for anyone and everyone mind you, but especially for women simply because of my adoration.

Opening a door, lifting a package, lend a helping hand, offering a sincere compliment, giving your full attention or simply a smile, it’s the least we can do as men. I can assure you that the reward for having people appreciate your kind gestures with as little as a wink of appreciation is more than worth any effort on our part. Even without the need for a response or a thank you, the feeling I get from doing something “nice” has it’s own wondrous feeling, like that of someone who cares.

“In his dealings with the world, the gentleman is not invariably for or against anything. He is on the side of what is moral.” ~ Confucius

Not everyone will appreciate this type of open helpfulness however, so be prepared if you get a stern look or maybe even a slap in the face. Keep in mind that this is not the norm for many people and I have found that they either accept your kindness with a smile or either ignore you or my personal favorite, they give you that look that simply says “I am happy that you had the opportunity to open that door for me.”

I recently read a great post by the very wise and astute Jane Garber. About what women want and our need as men to be more gentlemanly. It referenced what I have been thinking and feeling about being more of a “gentle man”, more respectful and much more interested in learning about how to better interact and actually learn about what women truly want. Being a bachelor and having my sights set on finding and connecting with the love of my life, I found this article very interesting indeed.

I hope to infuse more of this belief and way of thinking in my writing and my intended vision of who I wish to become moving forward, for it is this that helps me appreciate more the opportunity for open interaction with all of humanity. It allows me to see things in much more healthy, interactive and accommodating ways. Really winning in life must include a better connection with ourselves and those around us, and I for one am inspired to improve the process by being more kind and compassionate.

The art of a sincere compliment has been ingrained in me since childhood, but what appears to be so lacking in today’s world is man’s inability to genuinely compliment a woman and make it clear that he is indeed doing so without ambition. Moving into a new way of connecting with the opposite sex while expressing a genuine and sincere desire to communicate, listening carefully and interact on a equal basis and level playing field will assist with your continued desire to be more of a gentleman as well.

It is not all that complicated and as for any effort on your part, it does indeed make you feel better about yourself and I personally get a big kick out of the entire experience.

“A Man can Choose what he wants to be. A Gentleman doesn’t have a Choice.” ~ M. G. Hardie

A smile, a blush and the possible touch on your arm followed by a sincere thank you provides no better feeling in life, I assure you. Do something unexpected and focus your attention on such valuable assets as your attitude, eye contact, being an active listener, quiet confidence, being engaged, sincerity and always be authentic in your interactions.

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4 thoughts on “as a gentleman

  1. Wow, so nice. I think it’s a two-way street. One nice gesture from a proper gentleman can turn a whole day around for a woman. And, in the stress and busyness we all live in today, that one gesture could potentially turn around what may have been a rough day for someone. That someone then goes home and doesn’t bring her her stress load with her to her children. There should be more men in this world like you.

    1. Thank you Sinnary – Becoming a true gentleman is a decision as many have quoted, I have also learned that this mindset is based in giving which is what makes me a better man every day of my life. Still learning… Edward

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