Why something actually occurs has never been an issue for me, for I am a firm believer that things do happen for a reason.
Life continues on with or without our desire to change our circumstances, however, I also believe that we do indeed have choices and we can definitely make positive improvements for ourselves and those we love.
I was a little mangled and torn up inside this past weekend due to an important and out of my control life event which involves another who I care for dearly. I have watched as this fabulous person has struggled with changes incurred by the decisions made and actions taken to improve their life having reached an emotional end of their rope.
For such a giving, caring soul these advancements have brought so much pain, confusion and many tears of grief and remorse and strangely enough, I have also felt a significant level of distress and suffering from simply walking alongside and communicating as a true friend.
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” ~ James Baldwin
The life events brought on by the decisions of our friends and family are far more dear to our heart, as we compassionately if not desperately desire to help, advise and support their declarations to change and grow.
What appears to be the simplest and most logical decision by everyone surrounding this saddened soul, an outcome driven not by examination or logical discussion, but by a heart felt culmination driven by a need to rescue or reward the undeserving is chosen.
When we embody the powerful determinations driven by the heart via the temptation of another, at times the arbitration is redirected by the inclusion of love and passion. There is simply just so much that we can do to help and though our best intentions are enlisted, we can be enticed by the affections of another clouding our vision for just a few important moments, enough to persuade our truest intentions perhaps.
I have been guilty of this myself and understand the power of making decisions with our feelings and our hearts rather than our typically logical minds.
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.” ~ André Gide
What is most important when making determinations that will indeed affect our lives in either a positive or negative manner, is that we do indeed face the situation head on, look deep into the soul of the challenger with bravado, gumption and courage.
Not that activities involving relationships and love are typically battlefields per say, it is within how we deal with life in general as it comes our way that our instincts, our emotions and our logic can serve us well, or fail us miserably.
“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.” ~ Rumi
Standing up for ourselves takes time to learn and in these learned scenarios by fire, we must learn from our mistakes and celebrate our victories. Which brings me to my point of my story –
“When do you know that it’s beyond our control and further wrestling with the situation will most likely not bring a beneficial outcome for you or your friend?”
I am finding that this willingness to let go, to step away and allow life to take its course may be as difficult for the observer as the participant. No one wants to see someone we care for get hurt or neglected or influenced unfairly, but at what point do you throw in the towel?
From my own experience and from seeing which of my friends stood by me when things got tough. I am more of the strong opinion that when someone is confused, in pain, being taken advantage of or abused for that matter is when you must act. This is when as a great comrade and trusted friend you stand firm and call out the oppressor and display your shield and sword in support of those who are important to you.
For love will indeed conquer all – right?